Anything else can be worked out in my opinion, but having your partner step out on you is the ultimate betrayal in my opinion. How could you do that to a person that you are committed to? Especially someone that you are married to? Extra-especially to someone to whom you are married and have had children with? In my experience, having children with the man I’m married to has been extra-bonding and I love him all the more for it! If you are having feelings for someone else, then you need to take a serious look at your relationship and have a good talk with yourself and figure out why you are feeling this way. Then you need to decide if you are going to stay or if you are going to go, and AFTER YOU LEAVE, if that’s what you decide, then you pursue a relationship with someone else. You finish one relationship then you start another one, that’s how it works. No piggy-backing allowed. YOU DO NOT START A NEW RELATIONSHIP WHILE YOU ARE IN YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP JUST TO SEE IF YOU’LL BE ABLE TO LAND ON YOUR FEET BECAUSE YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT ENDING YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP. If this person you are considering cares about you, they will let you work out your issues before starting a relationship with you.
Has history, literature, and
taught us nothing? Cheaters always get caught! The truth comes out one way or another, and everyone ends up getting hurt – sometimes including innocent bystanders like children or friends. No one wins from cheating, especially when the truth comes out. No one. Devastation is the outcome. Every. Time. Hollywood
That being said, I cheated. Once. A long time ago and before I was married. I had been dating this really lovely guy who adored me and worshipped the ground I walked on. I didn’t respect him because I didn’t think of myself as highly as he did and therefore thought he was a complete Bozo for thinking I was so incredible. He was my first boyfriend to have his own place and he had gone camping with his buddies and let me “apartment-sit” for him. An old boyfriend – my first love – had come into town and as was his usual M.O. called me up to say ‘hi’. I invited him over to Current Boyfriend’s apartment and we listened to music on CB’s awesome stereo and ended up in CB’s bed. I’m not proud, but in my defense, my feelings for XB ran as deep as the valley is wide, CB and I were not married, and even though our on/off relationship had been going on for five years, and I loved him so very much, that was my first time with XB. That experience combined with another wake-up call made me realize that I was most definitely not in love with CB and I needed to end things to avoid hurting him further. I never got caught and XB and I did not see each other for a long time after that one time, but I still ended up breaking the heart of a really nice person that did not deserve to be treated like that, and will have that mistake on the list of things I regret for the rest of my life.
Look at that! I just pushed myself off my soapbox! Suffice it to say that cheating is bad, okay? It’s dumb, it’s not a good idea, and people always get hurt. Trust me, I would know.