Saturday, March 30, 2013

Girl Crush

You know how couples have that list of famous people that they can totally have a hall pass for? Well that is so Nineties. I have a list of girls I would switch teams for. Admit it, you have one too….

Joan Jett – What a rock star. I don’t give a damn about your bad reputation either.

Charlize Theron – Who wouldn’t? Have you seen Young Adult? Or Cider House Rules? Or Snow White and the Huntsman? She can totally rock a short haircut and I loved seeing her waltz with Channing Tatum on the Oscars. That was awesome.

Jennifer Lawrence – Your voice totally does it for me. And your crazy eyes. You killed it in The Hunger Games, girl. You had me at “I volunteer! I volunteer.” The way your voice cracked at the end there? Awesome. Your performance in Silver Linings Playbook was the best. You absolutely deserved that Oscar. Sorry you tripped, I wish I could have been there for you to catch your fall.

Gwen Stefani – O my gosh, I would never make you my ex-girlfriend, plus, we could share clothes and red lipstick and be total twins.

Gweneth Paltrow - I don't care what everyone says about you, your childrens' names, GOOP, or your idea of an "affordable" spring wardrobe, I will always love you.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Weekly Check-In

Physically - Not great. Cramps. Neckache from so much reading. No yoga. Weight is stable though and I've been off caffeine, so my tiredness has stablized.

Emotionally - Normal. Still processing some things, but I've been able to breathe through some things that cause me anxiety instead of flipping out and they have worked out for the positive.

Spiritually - Broken down. That's all I have to say about that.

Goal - Last week's goal was another fail. I am so frustrated. I don't know what to set as a goal, so my goal is to not set a goal this week.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Lost in the Library

photo credit
This is the story of the first time I went to the library.

I have mentioned my best friend who I never see, Berit, before when I told you about my getting my ears pierced adventure. We've been best friends since we were two and I love her like a sister and will never stop loving her.

A long, long, time ago, okay fifteen years ago, Berit and I were roommates. Berit worked at the Vancouver Public Library and I was a landscaper. One day, Berit freaked out when she found out that I had never stepped foot inside a public library. “I cannot believe that you are my best friend and I have worked for the library all this time and we have this BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW library and you have never been in it!”

I love books, I love to read. I used to practically LIVE in my school library – I was even in an advanced spelling class (I’ll explain later) that was in the library at school. I used to go to the library in the summer. Unfortunately, once I discovered boys, the library got abandoned along with my good grades.

Anyway, the landscaping job didn’t work out and I was between jobs for a short while, so Berit and I set a lunch date and she would show me around the library. It’s a beautiful building, it looks like the Colosseum, and it’s set in this little dip in the land, so you don’t see it until you’re right on it – and it’s magnificent! I knew this, but I had never experienced it first hand. After our lunch and my tour, Berit went back to work and I went exploring in the library. I got lost in the Science Fiction section reading H.G. Wells’ The Invisible Man and lost track of time. They had to kick me out of the library that I had never set foot inside of until that day because they were closing. I got home well after dark. When I walked into our apartment, Berit practically pounced on me, asking, “Where WERE you?!” My mum had called, and my sister, all looking for me and Berit had no clue where I was and it wasn’t like me to just disappear. I exclaimed in exasperation, “I was at the LIBRARY!!”

It was so funny for someone who didn’t have a library card and hadn’t stepped inside a library in over five years and never inside a public one to have spent the ENTIRE day there. This was the first step in my love affair with the library.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to the woman who gave me life. You can read more about her here.

Friday, March 22, 2013


Physically - I can say 'fine', but I can't say good, right? I'm okay. I've been really really tired this week due to not sleeping, and adjusting to going off of Dr. Pepper. I feel like I will be sleeping normally soon, so I should be able to function like a normal person in a few days. No headaches, but neckaches. No yoga either.

Emotionally - Better. DH and I had a big long talk about some things and now I am processing a whole bunch of new information and working on trust issues. I am also trying to have faith in those that I love and trying to not be so controlling. It will be freeing, but it's still a process.

Spiritually - Okay. I could be doing better and I need to be doing better. I am going to try to focus on reading my scriptures, having real prayers, and going to the temple.

Goal - To take the names to the temple.

Monday, March 18, 2013

I Feel Like I Should Still be Sleeping

Dewey has this wonderful way of saying exactly what I’m feeling, it’s amazing. This is what he moaned when I woke him up last Monday morning after the time change and it was still dark outside. Me too, baby, meeee tooooo. I was just getting used to using my sunglasses in the morning, and we had to go and spring forward.

I have this love-hate relationship with the time change. I love how it’s kind of a sign that Spring is coming, and that it stays light longer, but I hate losing an hour. I also feel off, like I don’t know what time of day it is and I can’t wake up or go to sleep properly. I get it from my mother. Here’s a typical scene at our house when I was growing up:

One of us: Mum, what’s for dinner?
Mum: Dinner? What time is it? Seven o’clock? UGH! I HATE the time change!! Guess it’s sandwiches for dinner!

I used to laugh at her so much. Why doesn’t she just look at the clock? Well, I can’t tell you how many times I have said the very same thing.

I posted this on Facebook on Tuesday:

I don’t even know what time it is anymore!

My sister, Mrs. Bowie commented with a link to this song. Isn’t she funny? I thought it was awesome.

The other thing Dewey said to me was “Why do we even have to have the time change?” To be honest, I can’t even remember; something to do with saving daylight and the farmers? I’m too tired to even Google it. DH just got adjusted to his new sleep schedule and now all he did last week was sleep. Now we all have to get adjusted again.

The only thing that has made it better is that I’ve been putting myself on a schedule that goes by the clock, not the sun which has really helped me not get too caught off guard.

Oh well, we’ll change back in six months and I’ll feel normal again.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Currently - March

Loving - My boys, my Man, my dog, the fact that I can see my grass in the front yard, that I'm not wearing pantyhose to work, my turquoise toes, shaved legs, and wearing flip flops to Costco.

Reading - Nothing. Taking a break. I read a lot of good books this last month and it was starting to take away from my life - I was escaping. I have decided to take a break to read my scriptures more regularly and to write.

Watching - Nothing. Only have one more episode of Downton to go, but Huey and I are watching it together so I have to wait until he's finished with his English assignment and until we're in the same room at the same time for more than five minutes. DH is dying because he wants to discuss it with me but I refuse to have any spoilers.

Anticipating - Oahu!! I'm going with my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew. I'm actually looking forward to the 5 hour flight all to myself. I love to travel by myself! I'm also looking forward to getting to know my cute niece and nephew both of whom I've only met once. Plus, you know, HAWAII!!

Listening - Siouxie and the Banshees. Especially The Passenger. I love, love, love me some Siouxie Sioux!!

Planning - My trip to Hawaii, home improvement projects for Spring/Summer, the end of the school year.

Working on - Relaxing my anxieties, getting things in the house organized, being consistent.

Friday, March 15, 2013


Physically – Normal. No headaches, back and neck don’t hurt too badly. Sleeping okay and have enough energy to cook, clean and run the boys around. All tests from the doctor are either normal or of no concern. Weight is under control. Keep missing Yoga. Need to get back on that horse! Need to get off Dr. Pepper and fast food. Spring is coming, I can smell it, so it can happen. Can’t ask for much more that that!

Emotionally – Unbalanced but hopeful. Now that my physical health is taken care of, it’s time to take care of the emotional/mental. I need to BREATHE! Watch this space for more info coming soon…

Spiritually – A little rocked because of the emotional stuff, but not too. A little disheartened because of the lack of temple, but I can fix it. DH gave me a blessing on Tuesday and it was so so helpful. I love that guy. So. Much.

Goal – I keep failing, but the goal is the temple. Come heck or high water!! I did talk to my friend who has a daughter Huey’s age and arranged for them to do baptisms together, but I haven’t scheduled with the temple yet – but I will!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Best Friends

Bess Marvin, Jane Bennett, Diana Barry, Alice Cullen, Vickie Miner, Flounder and Sebastian, Cinderella’s mice, Lane Kim, Ethel Mertz, Dr. John H.Watson, Betty Rubble, Patrick, Patsy Stone, Tinkerbell, Dick Grayson, Hermione Granger. What is with secondary characters? I LOVE them. I always want to be them.

I always love the Best Supporting Actress/Actor role more than the Best Actress/Actor. I always think these characters are so much more interesting and seem so much more fun to play.

In a beauty pageant it seems to me that the Miss Congeniality award would be so much more appealing than to win the pageant.

In The Holiday, Arthur Abbot tells Iris that she is always playing the best friend. She exclaims “You’re right! You should be the leading lady in your own life!

So why do I always identify with the best friend? Why do I always want to be like Bess and Alice? It always seems to me that they’re the more interesting character. They’re funnier, prettier, cleverer than the main character. Is it because the focus is on the protagonist, so the secondary character seems more mysterious? I always like to make back stories for them. Maybe because they are not as fleshed out as the main character, I am more able to give them some of my own qualities to fill in the gaps. Maybe it’s because they make the main character so awesome with their friendship, loyalty, support, etc. I guess I want to be a friend like that.

Ever since I saw The Holiday I’ve been striving to be the leading lady in my own life. Considering that movie came out in 2006 (on my birthday, which is one of my favourite things about the film), I’ve been spending a long time considering this and have yet to come to a conclusion.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally love Anne Shirley and Elizabeth Bennett and Nancy Drew and the rest, I just relate to the best friends more.

I GOT IT! I just realized that the reason why I wish I was the best friend was because I love these main characters so much that I wish I could be in their lives as their best friends!! Good job, Watson.

Friday, March 8, 2013


Physically - Not great. I'm not dying and I have no headaches, but just once I would like to have a test result come back normal with no need for further investigation. I also have no definitive answers as to what is going on with me, so I have no course of action and that sucks. Had my thyroid retested and waiting for results on that. Crossing my fingers for a 'normal'. I've missed yoga for the last two weeks and I really desperately need to get back on that horse.

Emotionally - Not great either. I'll live, but there is a lot going on in our family and I'm so stressed just thinking about it all. I just think and think and think and I just want to run away from everything for a minute. I am in love and we have a great family and everything is good there, that buoys me up.

Spiritually - I have faith that everything will turn out great. It's just stressful - the not knowing. I really feel a lot of love inside of me and that buoys me up too. The only thing that I know right now is that everything will be great. Trying to tie a knot and hang on to that.

Goal - My goal was for the temple and my prediction was that I would fail, and technically I did, however, I have been taking a family history class and I now know how to get names ready for the temple and I have a whole stack names to take to the temple now; including ones that need baptisms that Huey can do. I am very excited about this as I can finally take Huey to the temple! I am calling this a 56% win.

My goal next week is to have the baptisms scheduled.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Encounters with Famous People

So I was pondering this privacy thing and How I Will Respect Your Privacy and I remembered these little stories:

As you know, I grew up in Vancouver, BC – aka “Hollywood North”. Do they still say that? If so, how embarrassing. I hated it then, I hate it now. Anyway, the reason why they call it Hollywood North is because a lot of films and television shows are filmed there. I’ve heard celebrities say that they love it in Vancouver because they can be relatively normal there because Canadians are so much more laid back and respectful of a person’s privacy.

This one time when I was working in a clothing store on Robson Street in the late eighties, I was helping my manager with the window display when Richard Dean Anderson went walking by. I just stood there in the window, frozen holding an Esprit sweater in my hands and gawking. I said, “That was Richard Dean Anderson! You know, MacGyver!!” to my boss, so she pounded on the window even though I protested with her to not say or do anything. She wanted to go running out of the store and down the street, but I persuaded her not to. He kept walking, but I just stood there staring. The guy that was with him came running up to the window and pretended to take multiple photos of me with his disposable camera while I stood there in the window with my mouth open.

While I was working in the same store, Dustin Nguyen used to shop there, but never on a day when I was working, but I would have been totally cool and cas’ and treated him like a normal customer.

Another time, my dad and I went to Star Trick: the Musical. Star Trick: the Musical  was an improvisational satire based on Star Trek. My dad is a huge Star Trek fan and we were on a daddy-daughter date. Dad and I were in the front row. Just as the lights went down, Peter DeLuise walked in and sat in the empty seat at the end. I turned to my dad, jabbing him in the ribs exclaiming, “Dad, Dad! That’s Peter DeLuise! From 21 Jump Street? You know, Dom Deluise’s son?” He craned his neck around trying to get a look, and I slumped down in my seat, ever the embarrassed daughter. Just before intermission he was escorted out, but right after the lights went down, he came back. At the end of the show, my dad walked right up to him and said, “Uh, my daughter wants to meet you.” That was so totally not true, it’s not like he was Johnny Depp or anything, but it was still cool to see him. He shook my hand and I said “hi” (softest hands ever) and totally let him go on with his business. If it wasn’t for my dad butting in, I would have completely left him alone and let him enjoy some improv in private.

My dad did a lot of extra work in the early nineties. Because he was an average sized man in his fifties, he worked on The Commish a lot. One day, because we needed the car, my sister and I had to drop my dad off on location before we went on our merry way. Just as we were saying bye to Dad, Michael Chiklis walked past the car. Mrs. Bowie had the window open and exclaimed (loudly too), “Oh my GOSH!! It’s the Commish!!” He turned and looked. She scrouched down, blushing, and I gave him the reverse head nod. He gave me a “what’s up”, I gave him a “howzit goin’?”, and we drove off. All the rest of the day she COULD. NOT. BELIEVE  how cool I was and how uncool she was about the whole thing because she went all fan-girl and I was all mellow and she kept talking about it. The reason I was so cool was because a) I’m cool like that, and b) I realize that famous people are totally normal and probably get so sick of people fawning all over them, so I just like to respect their privacy and leave them alone. O, also c) I'm too shy to talk to those people.

Also, Stephenie Meyer was in Mrs. Bowie’s ward while they were filming Breaking Dawn and you should have heard the fan-girl squealy voicemail she left me on that one.

PS. Tomorrow is Mrs. Bowie's birthday, so I dedicate this post to her. Happy Birthday, Seestow!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

How Come you don’t talk like that in real life?

So the other day I was commenting back and forth with my brother and sister on Facebook and Huey was reading over my shoulder (can you imagine if I was doing that to him?) and asked the above question.

?? What??? I had no idea how to answer this question. When I asked for clarification, he said that I don't talk like I write. Hmmm, I like to imagine that people who know me can hear me talking when they read what I’ve written. You know how some people can do that? I love that. I guess I’m not one of those people.

Did he mean that I’m so much cleverer in real life than in writing? Or vice versa? I think he may have meant vice versa. I have my moments, but I can’t really pride myself on being the most quick-witted in the bunch. I’m one of those people who lay awake at night thinking up witty quips and comebacks after the fact. I’m not so quick on my feet, but when I’ve let things percolate a bit I can come up with some pretty awesome things.

Sometimes, if I know I’m going somewhere social, I lay awake the night before anticipating what the conversation will be like and prepare clever and cute things to say and try to weave them into the discussion. Just like Mr. Collins. Weirdo.

I guess I just have a split personality in my writing as much as I do in real life.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


Aren’t new things the best? I love new things. New shoes, new clothes, new nail polish…

Babies are new and they are adorable.

The New Year with all its’ hopes and dreams, that’s pretty awesome.

Flowers are new. Flowers are beautiful and always make me smile. There should always be flowers.

New music – I don’t have the words to describe how much I love new music. It doesn’t even have to be created just recently. New to me music is just as awesome.

New discoveries. Fantastic.

New snow – so pretty, so fresh, so white, so pure.

New love: who doesn’t swoon at new love?

New sheets on the bed. Even newly washed sheets are the best. There’s nothing like a freshly made bed – which is why I make my bed before I go to sleep at night.

A new car! Every time I think of a new car I hear the announcer from The Price is Right in my head. What’s better than a shiny new car?

I just love when things are new. They are shiny and sparkly and there is so much potential and hope for the future.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Things I could totally get done if I was a Vampire

I get so frustrated with my life because I get so tired all the time and I wake up just as tired and I just wish that I wasn’t tired. Sleeping seems like such a waste of time because it doesn’t cure my tiredness. It doesn’t matter if I get sleep or not, I never feel rested or like I even slept at all, so why bother with sleeping? So if I was a vampire I wouldn’t have to sleep and I wouldn’t be too tired to get stuff done and then maybe I would even have some time to do something for myself besides blogging and painting my nails – which is what the boys think I do all the time.
One time DH was in bed and Dewey asked him for help. DH asked Dewey “Where’s your mother?” His response – “Painting her nails, like always.” Once a week, if that, I take five minutes to paint my nails. It’s the one thing that I do to indulge myself while the boys are awake. Grrrr. That made me so mad. They act like all I do is sit around on my chaise lounge eating bon-bons. I don’t even have a chaise lounge! (but I would love one, in red, in my bedroom in front of our picture window, with some fluffy cushions and a snuggly blanket) Plus, I haven’t had chocolate in WEEKS. Hmmmm, maybe that’s why I’m so grumpy?
So anyway, on with the list:

  • My nails would always be perfectly manicured.
  • I would take the time to do my hair
  • I could take the time to do my make-up
  • I could take the time to shower.
  • I would be awesomely accessorized.
  • My closet would be organized
  • My craft room would be organized.
  • Menus would be planned.
  • Floors would be cleaned.
  • The dog would be brushed every day.
  • The dog would be walked every day.
  • The dog poo would be picked up out of the back yard.
  • My scrapbooks would be caught up.
  • I would have a section in my craft room for scrapbooking.
  • I would have a section in my craft room for sewing.
  • I would watch all the movies I want.
  • I could get caught up on the television that I like.
  • I would have time to read.
  • I could read ALL. NIGHT. LONG.
  • The bathrooms would be clean.
  • The ironing would be done.
  • The laundry would be done.
  • The dishes would be done.
  • The house would be tidy.
  • The garage would be cleaned up and organized.
  • There would be no dog hair all over the house.
  • DH would never complain about how un-organized I am.
  • The boys would have their homework done at a decent time, and never get behind because I would never be too tired to fight with them about it.
  • My car would be clean.
  • I could do some of the things that I've pinned on Pinterest, rather than just pinning them and then pining for time to do them.
  • I could take a bath.
  • I could write.
  • I could take a class.
  • I could take a photography class.
  • I could get my degree.
  • I could learn the guitar.
  • I could learn Italian.
  • I would cook gorgeous, yummy meals.
  • The yard would look beautiful and there would never be any weeds.
  • I could get the curtains up.
  • I could paint and decorate and make the house pretty.
This list could also be titled “Things I could totally get done if I never had to leave the house”, but being a vampire would be so much sexier than being a hermit… although…. being a hermit sounds pretty great too.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Privacy Policy

I am a private person. I only want people knowing what I tell them about me, and I hate it when people talk about me. I do not want people up in my business. If I wanted you to know something about me, I would tell you. I’m a pretty open book, but only with the things I choose to show you. I don’t want you delving into my personal personal stuff.

Also, if you want to know something about me, all you have to do is ask, I will probably tell you. I hate people speculating about me more than anything. The speculations are usually wrong and I really really hate it when people assume stuff.

This is one of the reasons why I have no friends. I have major trust issues and I only open up to people to a certain extent. I hide this by staying on the surface and being shallow, while being really honest and straight-forward with people. That way I can distract them from knowing how private I truly am.

I respect your privacy. If I know something about you and you didn’t tell me yourself, then I pretend that I don’t know that thing until you tell me. I figure if someone wants me to know something, they will tell me themselves. I do not believe in spreading the word. Unless it’s positive, uplifting, awesome news; like an engagement or a new baby or fabulous shoes or something.

So it really bugs me when people pass on news about me. Stuff that I wanted kept private, but neglected to tell the person I was telling that it was private and I didn’t want it passed around. You would assume that something that is obviously personal would be something that one would want to be kept private, but in this the day of Facebook and Twitter and Blogger, I guess you really need to specify these sorts of things.

When Dewey first got sick, I got really nostalgic because I could control the outcome of the past, but I couldn’t control the outcome of the future, so I joined Facebook. It was really great reconnecting with my old pals. Being the private person that I am, I didn’t post anything about Dewey on FB. I wasn’t interested in broadcasting my grief to the world. I discovered that one of my friends was living her childhood dream and working as a nurse. I sent her a private message telling her about what was going on with me. I just found out that she had gone and told some of my other friends about it. It’s been five years, I shouldn’t be mad, but I kind of am. I feel a little betrayed. I also feel a little stupid because we just recently all got together and it came up and I was explaining to my friends that I thought didn’t know, and they already knew. They had known all this time. So now I don’t know what makes me angrier; that my friend talked about me, or that my other friends knew and didn’t say a word to me about it! Like, how could you know this about a person – someone you were good friends with - and not reach out to them and say, “Hey old friend, our other old friend told us about your little boy and I just wanted to let you know that I love you/I’m praying for you/I’m so sorry.” Like the friend that I had initially reached out to was so loving and kind and wonderful and said such lovely things even though she told other people my business but it was out of the kindness of her heart because she was so heartbroken for me, so I guess I just forgave my original friend, but now I’m mad at my other friends. Just kidding - I forgave you twenty seconds ago. I could never stay mad at  you, you're so pretty and nice. I’m so dumb.

Another thing; if you tell me not to tell anyone, I. WILL. NOT. TELL. A. SOUL. My sister-in-law called me one time because she needed to talk to someone and asked me not to tell anyone. She had some stuff going on in her life and she needed an outsider’s opinion and a listening ear. I totally vaulted that information. She must have told her mother or her step-father because the information got to my husband and he brought it up one time when he was talking to her. So she assumed that it was me that told him because according to her I was the only one she told, but he told her that I hadn’t said anything to him, but he couldn’t remember where he heard it. Now she doesn’t trust me and thinks that I told DH when she specifically asked me not to and I specifically did not say a word to him nor anyone else. I feel so bad because I really like her and so didn't want to break her trust and was so honoured that she chose to talk to me, her trust in me was broken any way. So I guess I feel really dumb about that too because when someone tells me to not say anything, I don’t, but invariably, that person tells someone else and another person, and someone else blabs and it gets blamed on me because I have a big mouth. Trust me, my mouth is not that big and I totally respect your desire for secrecy.

So that was a weird tangent, but just know that I’m very private and I will respect your privacy and even if you don’t tell me not to tell anyone, I most definitely will not tell anyone about what’s going on with you, so your secret is safe with me.

Friday, March 1, 2013


Physically – My head hurts because I’ve been off the Dr. Pepper. My bones ache because of the storm coming in. I missed yoga last week to go marching up a mountain in a blizzard with the Cubs and I’m sad because of it. I haven’t gone in the middle of the week and I will probably miss this Saturday too. I’m so tired because of life and the no Dr. Pepper. I feel like heck this week.

Emotionally – Drained. Mad.

Spiritually – Okay fine. I’ve been okay spiritually a lot lately, which is a good thing, but some things have been happening that have been inspiring me to do more to have a little more spirituality in my life and this makes me happy.

Goal – last week’s goal was temple attendance and as predicted was a major fail, but I’m not giving up on myself and it will be this week’s goal too.