Thursday, January 31, 2013

About Shoveling

I posted in my Winter Survival Guide yesterday about shoveling. That was not a joke. I love to shovel.

DH posted this on Facebook on our anniversary:

I do believe it snowed. Just a foot or so! Thank heaven for a wife who likes to shovel it. Oh, and happy 16th anniversary to us.
I think it’s the novelty of it. It doesn’t snow often enough to be a chore. Also:
  • I’m always so happy for the precipitation.
  • It’s one of those chores that once you do it it’s done. It’s not like laundry or dishes or cutting the grass or weeding where as soon as you’re done you have to turn around and do it again.
  • I especially love how once you clear the snow and the sun comes out, the surface becomes dry and there’s no ice.
  • There’s also the cardio aspect of it. It’s good exercise, and in addition to the endorphins, there’s that good feeling of a job well done.
  • I love being out in the snow and not being cold. I get bundled up in my Sorrells, snowpants and sweatshirt, hat and gloves and I’m golden. There’s something about not having to wear a coat in the snow - must be the fourteen year old girl in me I guess I’m just weird – I know it’s “man’s work” or I should make the boys do it, but I really do enjoy shoveling snow.

    The nicely cleaned driveway

    Our snow pile so far...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Winter Survival Guide

 The following are the things I need in order to survive Winter:

  • Cashmere
  • Fuzzy Slippers
  • Wool Socks with funky stripes
  • Turtlenecks – lots of ‘em
  • Sweater tights in varying shades of black and grey.
  • Boots – especially my Sorrels.
  • Time to shovel the driveway.
  • Hot Chocolate with whipped cream and not worrying about the calories because you just spent the afternoon shoveling/sledding/walking the dog/at the gym.
  • Soup – especially clam chowder.
  • Crock pot
  • Baking
  • Walking the dog in fresh fallen snow
  • Throwing snowballs to the dog.
  • Sliding down a hill or mountain; whether this is skiing, snowboarding, sledding, or tubing – as long as you are going downhill and there is some semblance of speed and/or thrill involved.
  • Going to the gym
  • Fire
  • Hats, gloves and scarves.
  • Layers; this way I can wear all my favourites at once.
  • Down; coats, duvet covers. Down is ‘down’right warm 
  • Flannel sheets on the bed
  • Someone to snuggle with; Spouse, child, dog, whatever/whomever strikes your fancy.
  • Movies to watch – either in the theatre or at home on the couch.
  • Fleece blankets to cuddle under.
  • Books to read.
  • Music to listen to while cleaning because it’s so cold in the house that you have to move around to warm yourself up. The bonus is that now you have a clean house!
  • Driving around with the sun on the car and the heat cranked so that you don't even need to wear your coat in the car.
Hope you can use some of these to help you endure this cold, cold, awful winter!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Almost there

January is almost over - phew. With February being so short, and March acting like Spring half the time, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I always feel that if I can just get through January, I can make it through the rest of the winter.

We’ve had a rough go of it this year, but with the recent storms there is no more pressure in the air weighing me down. I literally feel lighter and like it’s not so bad any more.

I would rather have grey stormy skies for a month than the ice blue smoggy inversion ones. The sun actually comes out, but you can’t feel its’ warmth because of the inversion and it feels like it is oh so far away. What good is having the sun come out if you can’t even feel it? If the sun is not going to warm anything up and it’s going to be cold anyway, why not just have grey skies?

Anyway, I feel like I can breathe, that it’s going to be okay, we’ve endured this awful month and it’s almost over; we’re almost there.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Go to the Doctor – go to the doctor some more.

I used to go to the doctor with one issue or another, and they could never find anything wrong with me. “Are you sure you’re not depressed?”, they would ask. Isn’t that just a nice way of saying, “are you sure it’s not just in your head?”
Now, every time I go to the doctor – not for an ailment, mind you, just for a check-up – they find something. So before, I would have complaints and nothing was found, and now, I have no complaints, but they find stuff. Sheesh.

I’ve been worried that my thyroid levels were not quite right, so I had it re-checked. Turned out it’s okay, but there are some other issues they’re worried about, so I have a couple of follow-up appointments and a new prescription to deal with. This new prescription is a hormone that I suspect is the source of the MONSTER headache that I’ve had since Thursday, but I only have to take it for ten days, so I’m okay with just toughing it out.

I’m fine, don’t worry. I just have to have some things checked out to make sure that I’m fine. The same thing happened the last time I went for a check-up and everything was fine then too. I’m glad I have a doctor that wants to catch things early just in case.

I’m not worried one bit, I’m just annoyed. I hate going to the doctor more than anything, and now every time I go to the doctor, I end up with three more appointments! Getting older is not as fun as I thought it was going to be.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Always Winter, never Christmas

This is another weather post. Sorry.

It’s so weird. We have all these songs about White Christmas and all the Christmas pictures have wintery scenes, but technically, Christmas is at the beginning of Winter and we’re still easing into Winter, yet Christmas seems to be the pinnacle of Winter when it’s only just the beginning. (Wow, that was a run-on sentence!) 

So once Christmas is over, that’s when winter is really settling in and we have all this winter weather with nothing to celebrate, therefore, January is just like Narnia before Aslan returns; Always Winter, never Christmas. Has anyone else thought of this before?

I can’t remember more than one sunny day so far this year. Sure, the sun has been out, but with the inversion, it’s really hard to see it. It’s been so cold that my bones hurt, and all I want to do is hunker down and not go anywhere or do anything, yet regular life dictates that I get up and go to work and help the boys with their homework and cook food and deal with all the daily things.

Thursday was the ultimate – we had freezing rain. I got a text from DH at 6:30 am saying “stay home” because of the road conditions. Freezing rain is not normal here in Utah, but with the inversion, the rain was coming down in the warmer air above, going through the inversion and landing on the freezing land below and instantly freezing. It looks super cool – everything coated in ice. It would be great if we didn’t have to leave our houses for things like work and school. I had to chip my car out of the ice twice that day.

Michigan gets ice storms. I remember the first time I saw one. I thought it was great because it was raining and it would wash all the snow away; that’s what happens to snow in British Columbia. Silly, naïve Canadian. The entire area gets coated in ice. It’s cool because then the sun comes out and it looks like a crystal fairy land, but it’s super dangerous. Not only is it slippery, but there’s the falling icicles and tree limbs to worry about too.

Everything looks cool because the snow and everything else is all shiny now and looks fake. We didn’t get enough of a storm to clear out the inversion, but it’s cleaned it up enough that temperatures are at least above freezing. The roads are cleared up enough that they’re not scary to drive on, so at least I can get around without having a panic attack.

I still wish we could just close everything down in January and hibernate.

Friday, January 25, 2013


Physically – I made it to the gym, so my muscles hurt at the beginning of the week, and since I went to the Dr and am on a new prescription and it’s giving me a migraine. The middle of the week was really great. Right now? Not so much.

Emotionally – Even keeled. Everything seems okay. It’s nice having DH around.

Spiritually – Okay fine.

Goal – Last week’s goal was to go to the gym and the temple at least once. As you read, I made it to the gym, but I missed on the temple.

This week’s goal is the same as last week – Go to the gym and the temple at least once.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

I Made it to the Gym!

Saturday morning I was bound and determined to achieve my goal of going to the gym and to the temple at least once.

My original plan was to get up, pack a bag with a change of clothes and my shower stuff, attend the yoga class at my gym, shower, and go to the temple. I got up in just enough time to dust off my yoga mat and get dressed and go. The yoga class at my gym is at 10 am. I figured I would get my gym time in, go home, change, and go to the temple then do my running around.

I got to the gym in plenty of time, only to discover that I left my yoga mat in the hall at home. I decided to go drop off my book at the library and do my running around. As I was driving to the library, feeling defeated, I realized that it wasn’t necessary for me to only attend the yoga class, there are plenty of exercise type things I can do at the gym. I drove back to the gym and searched for a parking space. As I was driving back to the gym, I saw a girl walking away from the gym with a yoga mat in her arms. I got worried that maybe there was no 10 am yoga class? I was relieved that I forgot my yoga mat. When I walked in and checked in at the front desk, it was like I had never left. I felt completely at home. I also noticed that the room where they hold classes was completely dark.

I hopped up on a bike and set a course and pedaled my heart out. It felt good to literally get back on the bike. I rode seven miles before I even thought about it, and I didn’t even have any music or water. It was great!! I was so glad that I didn’t give in to defeat and went anyway. My endorphins lasted for the rest of the day and I got a lot done. (except go to the temple because I ran out of time)

As I was leaving, I went past the class room to look at the schedule, and was reading some of the flyers on the door. The calendar showed a 10 am yoga class, but the room was dark. Then my eyes adjusted to the dark, and sure enough, there were people in there in Tree pose. I had probably been standing there for about 5 minutes. I felt like such a lurker!! I made it out of there quick like a bunny.

I am really hoping to repeat my efforts and actually join the class this Saturday.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Too Open-Minded to be a Purist about Anything

I kind of hate this about myself, but only kind of.

The thing is, I see beauty and pleasing things in everything. For example, I’m not one of these people who only listens to alternative music and thinks that all other types of music (i.e. country music) is garbage. There is music that is good, and there is music that is crap - in every genre; same with art, same with Fashion. Not everything Ralph Lauren puts out is perfectly beautiful, just most of it. Sometimes Duran Duran puts out a dud song. Sometimes Picasso paints something beautiful.

I’m just not about absolutes or gross generalizations. Most things are subject to opinion or taste. I hate onions, except for onion rings. I always order a Crown burger with no onions and a side of onion rings. Sometimes the person taking my order catches on and questions my order, are you sure you want onion rings but no onions on your burger? Why would someone who obviously doesn't like onions because they ordered their burger without onions order onion rings? I know, weird, but onions are gross unless they’re battered, deep fried and dipped in fry sauce. (What’s fry sauce you ask? Ahhh, that’s for Utah to know and you to find out, and sad for you if you don’t know what it is)

I used to think that I was wishy-washy or not passionate about anything and this made me feel bad. Like I'm easily swayed and not firm and steadfast or strong willed. Let me tell you. I am NOT wishy-washy nor dispassionate. Quite the opposite: I am flexible and open-minded. This makes me free to get over myself and not see things as either-or, black and white or wrong and right. It used to be a cool way to define oneself; alternative is cool, everything other than is not cool. I think that being able to think for yourself and liking things because you think that they're cool because they are and not just because they are a part of a specific genre is cool.

I’ll tell you what I’m not – I’m not myopic. I’m not so focused on the genius or beauty or rightness of one thing as to blind me to the genius or beauty or rightness of something else. Most times when I’ve tried to be absolute about something I’ve learned more about it and it’s become one of my great loves. See Duran Duran. Never say never.

A long time ago, I heard that breast feeding made your boobs flat. Being flat enough as it was, I decided then and there that I would not breastfeed ever, breastfeeding was sick and wrong, and it should not be done. Then I became a mother and did some reading and realized the benefits far outweighed the chance of flat boobs and my opinion of breastfeeding became quite the opposite. Just ask Mrs. Bowie who named me the “Nursing Nazi”. I breastfed Huey for 15 months and I would have gone longer, but he weaned himself. I breastfed Dewey for 19, and my boobs never went back to normal. They stayed D-cups. Good thing I didn’t go with my original view, eh? (I was a B cup before I had kids and nursed them)
It’s nice that we can grow and learn and there’s always something that we can grow and learn about. I think that sometimes we can get set in our ways, especially when we’re older and we know what we like. I’m always open to seeing the other side.

Except when I’m right and I know what I like and I’ve seen the other side and my way is best.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Currently – January

Loving: Having DH home in the evenings!! So much! I love having him around more and he seems so much happier.

Reading: Dragonsong  by Anne McCaffrey. This was a recommendation from Huey. I’m having a problem getting into it, but I have faith as I’ve talked to some other folks and they have high praise for Anne McCaffrey’s books. I haven’t been able to read in bed due to DH’s new schedule; he’s in bed trying to sleep, so I can’t be in there with the light on. Once his sleep schedule is adjusted, I’ll be able to do that, but for now, I just haven’t been reading.
Also You Can’t Make Me (but I can be persuaded) Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. I read about this book in Scouting magazine. I’m hoping it will help me communicate not just with Huey, but with DH too. They’re like twins with their personalities and I can’t get either of them to do anything I ask. I’m kinda strong-willed too, so maybe it will help me too. I’ll let you know.
I'm also reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with Dewey. I love that he loves reading now.

Watching: Downton Abbey and nothing else. You should be too.

Anticipating: The Oscars, Sundance, and the end of the month.

Listening: to my iPod on shuffle – looking for inspiration for some new playlists. I got some new music for Christmas, so I’m listening to everything.

Planning: decorating schemes to make my house more pretty.

Working on: getting the garage cleaned out and the craft room organized, staying away from fast food and caffeine, and getting some exercise.

Friday, January 18, 2013


How are ya? I’m fine.

Physically – Cold. My hips and lower back ache. I’ve not been exercising (yet) or walking the dog (too cold), but I’ve stayed away from caffeine and fast food all year and when I weighed myself this morning the scale smiled up at me with a 167.0! That’s the least I’ve weighed all year!! Win! I so want to celebrate with a Whopper and Dr. Pepper, but I won’t. Today.

Emotionally – Unmotivated. I’m stressed out about the Things I Need To Do, and the weather is bumming me out. I want to cancel the rest of the month and crawl into bed and hide until Spring.

Spiritually – Struggling a little, but only a little.

Goal – Last week’s goal was to get to the temple and the gym at least once. I failed, so this week the goal is the same. I’m calling a do-over.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Seriously? You’re going to talk about the weather?

Frozen Trees
Let me explain myself: I am from the West Coast of British Columbia. I grew up talking about the weather constantly. There’s a lot of weather there, so we talk about it - a lot.

January is the month when I want to crawl in a hole and die. I hate January so so so much. I just want to run away from January. Nothing good comes from January.

That’s not entirely true. I was married in January – that was pretty awesome. I have some friends that were born in January and I like them, so that’s a good thing. I usually love New Year’s, there’s the beginning of awards season, and Sundance, but everything else is out.

This year so far has been a struggle. We get these inversion things where the cold air is sucked in and trapped in the valley and I HATE them. The air doesn’t move and it’s hazy and below freezing and nothing melts. YUCK. The air quality is so bad. Everything is grey. Not angry stormy rainy or snowy skies grey, but no colour nothing happening in the sky grey; blah grey. It's like the sun doesn't even work. Of the 17 days we’ve had of January, ten of them have been inversions and three of them have been where it snows all day and the commute is awful and you don’t want to go anywhere. We had some snow at the beginning of the year – just a couple of inches - which made the ground cold, which caused an inversion, which made it even colder. This lasted a week. Then we got a big wind storm which mixed the air enough to clear everything out, give the sun a chance to come through and warm things up, and bring in another snow storm. This storm brought an additional twelve inches. This continued to keep the ground cold and caused another inversion. It has been so cold this year. Bitter cold. My bones ache and I’m so tired. I’m pretty sure we’ve only had two or three days where the high temperature has been above freezing. It’s so cold and the air quality is so bad, that even if I had the time, I can’t take Orso out for a walk and he is going stir crazy. Everything is icy and grey and snow covered and I’m miserable. I can’t get warm. I can’t get motivated.

Eli McCann posts about what a cruel, cruel witch January is. I really couldn’t agree more.

January is supposed to be the month that you start the new year and work on all those awesome goals you set for yourself. This is a joke because January is so depressing that you have even less motivation to do anything to improve yourself. I just feel like cancelling everything. The weather is really affecting my mood.  This bums me out to no end. It’s been on my mind and I’ve been stewing it around for some time. This is unacceptable to me. I hate feeling so UGH all the time. Since I made up with Snow and with Summer, I have been trying to figure out how to make up with January.

I have come up with a few things, but I’m not quite there yet. Here are some of the things I’ve been mulling around:

Manicure with Summer Colours
  • I’m trying to come up with a Get out of your Funk/Listen to when you’re Blue playlist – but it’s slow going. I have been listening to my Summer playlist which has helped a little, but not enough.

  • It gets foggy with an inversion and sometimes the fog freezes causing my world to look like this, so there is some beauty.
    Weeping Japanese Maple covered in frost

  • The boys want to learn how to ski/snowboard. DH has skied Utah, but not since he’s lived here and I have done some skiing and snowboarding and love it, but haven’t had the time nor funds to take that on since moving to Utah. There’s a hill about an hour and a half away from here that’s really good for kids to learn on. When an inversion happens, it’s actually warmer up in the mountains than down in the valley, and going up in the mountains is the way to escape the inversion. Going up in the mountains is good exercise. I put my snowboarding pants on in order to shovel the driveway last Saturday and I had to let the adjustable waist out because I could barely get them on! That was a wake up call for me as I have not worn the pants for about two years. (Last year was really crummy as far as snowfall was concerned) I have this total hatred of driving in snowy conditions, so driving up in the mountains on purpose in the winter seems like a really dumb thing to do, and a three hour drive round trip seems like a major time commitment, which is why I’m still mulling it around. I should look into this further.
  • The Sundance Independent Film Festival happens every January. I should volunteer. I almost did a couple of years ago, but was feeling too crappy in January to fully commit. All I want to do is hunker down and disappear in January, not go out in the cold and manage crowd control. Plus the weather is so unpredictable, and the aforementioned hate of driving in the mountains in the snow. Park City is not nearly as far away as I think it is, and it’s out of the inversion. I still think this would be such a fun thing to do, so I’m still stewing on this too. Maybe next year.
  • In past years I have made improvements to my winter wardrobe. There is a lot more wool and cashmere. I have really good winter boots, the aforementioned snowboarding pants that are GREAT for walking the dog in the snow, and a down jacket that keeps me warm. I have some cute hats, gloves and scarves that make going outside MUCH less painful. I love all my warm tights and cozy sweaters and socks, but I’m a bit bored with some of my wardrobe (skirts, pants, shirts) and in a bit of a funk because I don’t want to buy anything new because of my size. I am in major need of a winter wardrobe makeover. I need to weed a lot of things out. I think this will help me to feel better. I always feel better after I clean out my closet.
  • Happy Face mug, Red Spoon
    I have this Happy Face mug that totally makes me smile. It’s great for hot chocolate, which also makes me smile, but hot chocolate is so huge in calories and so bad for my skin when I drink it on a regular basis, but it is so good for warming the cockles of my soul when it’s so so so very cold outside.
  • I ran away to Maui once in January – that was perfect, but I can’t exactly afford to run off to the tropics any time it’s cold. I have a tropical island photo on my desktop. That helps, but only a little.
  • I’ve been eating oatmeal – that warms me up, but I worry again about calories.
  • I’ve been baking and cooking. This also makes me worry about calories. I also make a big mess and there are twice as many dishes, but moving around doing dishes warms me up, running the dishwasher and using the oven warms the house up, and YUM!
  • I have been trying to go to the gym – working out warms one up like no one’s business, but I’m still adjusting to DH being home. He seems to take up more of my time than anyone.
  • I could do a manicure with happy hot colours, but my hands are so dry and my nails are so brittle...
  • We had our house built with a chimney, but didn’t let the builders put in our fireplace as it was so much extra money, and we wanted to be able to do it on our own terms and in our own time. We need to put in our fireplace, but it only costs money. We’ve been in the house almost seven years…

Sitting by the fire in my cashmere sweater, wool socks, and jeans that fit, sipping hot chocolate, munching on chocolate chip cookies and listening to good music while reading a good book after a day in the mountains sounds as close to perfect as it can get, doesn’t it?

Friday, January 11, 2013


No preamble.

Physically – Ugh! I can’t tell you how horrible I feel. First of all, I had my thyroid re-tested because it’s been a year and a half and I suspect something’s up. I have yet to receive the results and have run out of pills and won’t refill it until I know what’s up. There is fatigue and a general dizziness going on. Secondly, we had a huge windstorm last night which is good because it blew all the gook out of the air and it feels like Spring today, but Orso was up barking at the rattling screens at 2 am and then again at 4 am. He would not give it up at 4 am because DH was now gone to work and that put Orso on guard duty. I figured out that putting him in the guest bathroom downstairs (it’s huge and he has a bed in there for when he’s muddy, so it’s familiar) made it so that he couldn’t hear the wind rattling the windows and the fence making it sound like Armageddon was coming upon the us and he had to rescue us by barking his head off. The dog’s bark is anything but quiet. He woke up the boys too. I couldn’t fall back asleep after that for awhile, and by the time my alarm went off I was so groggy. The morning sucked. Thirdly, since the morning was so pleasant and not a crazy 8 degrees Fahrenheit, I celebrated by wearing a skirt with pantyhose (not tights) and skipped putting my shoes in my bag and wearing boots and just wore my shoes. As I was walking down the newly wet and FROZEN stairs, I slipped and fell, sliding down all the steps. My purse went flying one direction, my shoes landed on the front lawn in the snow, and my skirt was circling my hips. Was a great show for the neighbours. There is a chunk missing out of the fingertip of my pinky, my forearm feels like it will be bruised, and my lower back and shoulders feel stiff and sore. I am really going to feel this tomorrow. So physically? Sore and tired and tired and sore and also dizzy. Look at that, I can tell you how horrible I feel.

Emotionally – A little stressed. Since the New Year and DH’s new schedule and everyone is getting back into their routine, there seems to be a lot going on. I also have a big pack meeting coming up that I have only planned in my head. I need to get it ironed out with my assistant Cubmaster and written down so that I can get it out of my head. I haven’t been able to adjust to having DH home, and he’s adjusting to his new sleep schedule, and the dishes are piling up, and the garbage needs to be taken out, and Huey and Dewey have Scouts and end of term coming up and everything is stress, stress, stress.

Spiritually – Normal, the same, even keeled. This remains to be a good thing.

Goal – Last week’s goal was to stay away from caffeine. Success!

This week’s goal is to make it to the temple once and the gym once.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

How it has been

I’ve been thinking a lot about my first anniversary post and composing in my head for the last two weeks. When I actually have the time to put pen to paper, I draw a blank. I’ve been blogging for a year? What’s blogging? This seems to be taking a lot longer than it needs to.

So this past year has been good. I’m glad I started this blog. I feel like it’s really not very good, but that’s okay because I don’t have a lot of readers, and I’m still working out my style and how I write. It’s good that I’m not this brilliant writer right out of the stocks. I’m glad to be finding my way and discovering my voice.

Kelly Oxford wrote this piece about becoming a writer and how she had a blog for years and she forced herself to write, even if it’s crap just for the exercise of writing. I took that to heart and have tried to write every day, even if it’s crap. I’m trying to not publish the crap and just keep that to myself. I hope you don’t mind. Unfortunately, sometimes hindsight gives you the ability to see crap after the fact. I call those times Learning Experiences.

So I’m glad that I’m blogging and I’m glad that I don’t have that many readers. I’m also glad that for the most part I don’t even know who they are, because I’m sure they read the amateurish stuff that I’m posting and totally roll their eyes. That’s okay.

I have found that when I have these things rolling around in my head that if I blog about them, I can find resolution. That is extremely therapeutic for me. I share it so that maybe it will help someone else out there in the universe. It also helps to just “say things out loud” in order to get them straight. I put that in quotes, because I don’t necessarily say these things out loud, but I am publishing them, so… well you know what I mean. Maybe you say them out loud because you can’t read in your head. Or you're reading to someone else. That’s your thing.

So it’s a good thing for me, I enjoy it, I will continue, and I will continue to get better.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

I am here! I am here! I am Here!

Sometimes I feel like a Who.

You know, the Whos on the piece of fuzz on the clover flower in Horton Hears a Who? You know, “a person’s a person, no matter how small”?

Well, I’m a person. I have feelings and thoughts and things to say. I exist. I am real. I am here. I do things and they matter. Right?

Sometimes I feel like I do these things and no one notices or cares, like I’m invisible. Like if I didn’t exist there would be no dent in the universe. No blip. Nothing. No ones’ path would be effected or altered if I had never come into their lives. Nothing I do matters. If I didn’t do it, someone else would and there’s nothing special or unique about me. I feel like an insignificant speck in the universe. Like I could very easily be replaced and no one would even notice.

Sometimes that’s okay. I don’t mind being invisible and under the radar. I actually prefer to not be the centre of attention. I’m totally okay with that, but at times, just occasionally, it would be nice if my existence was acknowledged.

“Hey, rantgirl, just wanted to let you know that I’m glad you were born. I’m glad that you exist.” Something like that.

I get so frustrated with life sometimes. So much of life is so unnecessary; the boring mundane stuff like work and chores and showering - just kidding about the showering. The other stuff too. They’re all necessary, but they’re not earth shattering or life changing. They’re just necessary - and boring.

My life is pretty boring; mostly satisfying, but totally boring. I have a boring job and I’m a boring Mom in a boring town with a boring house. There are things that are super great about my life, like my Man and my boys and my dog, and I really like my house, but that’s about it.

I’m not asking for a more exciting life. I don’t need any more excitement in my life. It’s nice to be settled, calm, and drama free.

I just have these moments in my life where I’m reminded how totally unimportant I am and it hurts my ego a little bit.

Friday, January 4, 2013


Physically – Fine, Okay, a little tired, so normal. My knees hurt from scrubbing my entire house on New Year’s Day, but the satisfaction of having a clean house make up for that in spades. I have been caffeine free for a week and had the daily headaches to prove it! I have a doctor’s appointment to get my thyroid re-checked and fixed. Hoping that will help with the being overweight problem that I have.

Emotionally – Normal. I am experiencing the post Holiday Ho-Hum that everyone else is. DH is adjusting to his new schedule and is really happy, so that makes me happy too. The boys are back to school and not in each other’s faces and seem to be happy to be back to a routine, so that makes me happy too. Other than the bitter cold miserable weather that will eventually go away, everything is normal, and that makes me happy.

Spiritually – Even. Not high, not low. Perfectly normal. I am so happy about this.

Goal – Last week’s goal was to organize my craft room on New Year’s Day. HAH!! Good one, Rantgirl! I’ll let you in on a secret: I really wanted to have my house all cleaned up and Christmas put away on New Year’s Weekend, so I thought that if I set a goal to organize the craft room that I would get everything else done. Guess what? It worked! I got everything else done and the house looks so nice! I even took a bath!

This week’s goal is to continue being caffeine free and to avoid fast food.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year’s Annoyance



Happy New Year.

So I kinda hate romantic holidays. I also hate it when people try to make holidays romantic. Case in point: the number of people getting engaged at Christmas. Oy. Dude, get an imagination. And, how cheap are you? Too cheap to buy an engagement ring and a Christmas present so you just lump them into one? URGH!! I have a thing about combined presents. See: Birthday + Christmas = your head chopped off. (to those of you who got engaged on Christmas – congratulations!)
Side note; I never used to hate romantic holidays – I guess I used to have such high hopes. Years of disappointment has ruined this. I hate that the little girl in me has died.

I consider New Year’s to be a romantic holiday – what with the kiss at midnight and the pretty dress and the hope for something new and the cuddling because it’s cold.
So I totally loved New Year’s. It’s my favourite. I love making resolutions and looking back at last year and all the lists (top 20 albums of the year, 10 worst fashion disasters of the year, you know). I love the fact that there is a party, but NO gift giving. I love planning what I’m going to wear to the New Year’s dance/party/whatever. I love the sparkle and the fancy. I used to plan all year what I was going to do for New Year’s.

Let’s rewind to New Year’s Eve 1996. I was so excited to share this with my soon-to-be-Darling-Husband that I took a trip to Salt Lake City just to spend New Year’s with my Darling. I was so excited to finally have my “forever” – the man I was going to spend the rest of eternity with. Yay! Finally a guaranteed kiss at midnight for the rest of evermore! I was so excited for a romantic night. I spent Christmas with my family, but saved New Year’s for my fiancé. When my dad was driving me to the Seattle airport so that I could fly down to SLC, we had a huge hassle at the border; car searched, sent in to immigration to be grilled, etc., a story for another time. I thought it was all worth it just to spend New Year’s with my Darling.

He knew I was coming to spend New Year’s with him, but he made no plans. I saw that he had New Year’s decorations in his condo, so I wrongfully assumed that New Year’s was as big a deal to him as it was to me. A tip: you do NOT ask your love/date/girlfriend/whatever what they want to do for New Year’s ON New Year’s Eve. Of course, everything was booked and there was nothing to do, so we sat in front of the TV watching New Year’s Rockin’ eve. I use the term “we” loosely. I sat on the couch watching the TV and pouting while DH slept. Worst slash Stupidest New Year’s ever. I should have stayed home and partied with my friends since I was getting married in eleven days, but I wanted to spend the most romantic night of the year with my most favourite love. Had I known that I would never again party it up on New Year’s I would have totally taken advantage of my last chance.

DH and I have never done anything on New Year’s. Not once ever. Ever never ever. NE-VER. Like, ever. We celebrated the end of the 20th century by him and his newly divorced friend watching the New Year’s fireworks around the world on CNN, and me sleeping in the next room. I was pregnant with Huey at the time and very tired. We were all worried about Y2K and the end of the world and I had to work the next day to make sure that the computers were all good to go. I woke up at midnight, came out to the living room, told the men “Happy New Year” and went back to bed. Yup. We know how to par-tay.

I have tried to plan things to do for New Year’s figuring that if I want to do something, I had better plan it. Everything I have suggested gets shot down. Too cold. Too loud. I don’t want to do that, I have to work. Every year I end up alone watching TV. We do occasionally toast with sparkling cider and kiss and say “Happy New Year”, but rarely do we both stay up and ring in the New Year together.
Here we are this year, the end of 2012. No plans. I had spent the last three days cleaning our house. (It looks great, thanks for asking!) DH had to work his usual 3-11pm. I made a nice steak dinner. When he left to go back to work he asked me if we were going to be up. I turned to him as I was folding laundry and watching New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Jenny McCarthy and Ryan Seacrest – they were remembering Dick Clark, it was pretty great – and told him probably not. I was going to finish the load I was folding, read to Davy and put him to bed and go to bed myself. I was really tuckered out from cleaning, I had my period, we never do anything for New Year’s, I’m so sick of this year, the new year is going to come whether I ring it in or not, so bah, humbug! I was in bed by 10. Huey was up playing Minecraft when DH came home at eleven. I heard them talking and stuff, but chose to remain in bed. I was so grumpy from years previous and the whole asking me the day of if I want to do anything (urgh! That makes me so MAD!), and tired that I wasn’t about to get up and be with him even though I was awake. He came up and kissed me and said Happy New Year at midnight, but I pretended I was asleep.

So for the past sixteen New Year’s one of us has been asleep at midnight. We even had a bunch of fireworks going off in our neighbourhood this year and I was too grumpy to even bother to look outside. Sad for me the most, really. I used to love this holiday so much and this year totally stunk and most of it was because of me. I have being in Time’s Square at New Year’s on my bucket list for crying out loud!

I totally could have showered and prettied up and been all ready by the time DH got home. We could have watched the ball drop and toasted and had a kiss and a snuggle, but I was just so mad that we never do anything on New Year’s that I let sixteen years of frustration build up and just went to bed. There was no yelling or fighting like there has been in years past, which is good and bad. Good: no yelling or fighting. Bad: I’ve given up. So what I was trying to say was that I could have totally had a relatively fun New Year’s this year (at least a better on than in years past), but I just didn’t.
I have decided two things:
  1. We are having an annual New Year’s party. You’re all invited. The theme is “White”.
  2. We are going to have romantic holidays this year, that it is going to be up to me, and I am going to make it happen for us: starting with our anniversary on the 11th. Wish me luck.