Thursday, November 21, 2013

Not good at talking unless I'm talking about myself and then I can't shut up

The other day I went visiting teaching. My companion was running late, so I had to go in by myself. We've only visited this girl one other time, so I don't know her very well. Ironically, she's the one that thought she knew me from somewhere else and I reacted so badly.

So we got over the how are you, how's work stuff really quickly, and she sat there, looking at me expectantly. I drew a blank completely and had nothing to say either. I started fumbling for things to say and feeling really awkward. I apologized for being so weird, explaining that I'm not the most socially talented person. I just felt weird because I didn't know when my companion was coming, so I wasn't sure if I should just share the message and take off, or wait, or what and I couldn't remember a lot of what we had talked about the visit prior, so I couldn't follow up on that.

I ended up bringing up how we should figure out how we really know each other. She laughed and explained that she realized that I remind her of a friend of hers and that we don't really know each other. I explained to her how I have not been blonde for a long time which was one of the things that tripped me up on our first meeting which led into a fifteen minute monologue on the history of my hair, which included two side tangent stories, also related to my hair.

By this time my companion had showed up and we talked some more. I was warmed up to the point that I couldn't stop talking. This must have looked so weird, because I went from not being able to talk at all, to not being able to shut up.

When I was on my mission, I had this companion who was really good at the asking the get to know you questions and getting people to open up, but I found her style to be so invasive. She wouldn't let up and asked really personal questions, but the weird thing is, people answered her, and they seemed to not mind.

I'm such a respecter of people's privacy, I figure if someone wanted me to know something, they would tell me. I don't like to pry. I feel more comfortable talking about myself, because 1) I can control what I share, 2) I can avoid probing questions, and 3) I know I'm not getting too personal with a person by asking them questions that they are uncomfortable answering. The last thing I want to do is make a person feel uncomfortable (unless I don't like them, then I don't care), so I just feel more comfortable talking about myself.

This is why I'm a terrible listener.


  1. Can you be my Visiting Teacher? I totally love you and love your stories about life. You rock!! --Joleen

  2. Yeah right! 2 hour appointment anyone? Maybe we should just be friends like we really are instead of "assigned" friends.