Thursday, May 17, 2012

Uninspiration


Haven’t been writing (obviously).

I hate it when bloggers post a post about how they haven’t been posting and explaining why. I don’t care why, just bloody post already! Don’t you know that our lives depend on you entertaining us? Also, I usually will come upon a blog 2 years after a person started their blog and will go back and read all their posts, so I didn’t notice their absence, so their apology for not posting post is moot as far as I am concerned. Also, I realize that they have their reasons, as do I.

So I vowed to never post a “Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile” post because I think they’re dumb.

Then I got this email from my Mother in Law (my only faithful reader – just kidding, Mum):
“Where RU?

I am missing your blog read! I love it. Come on. Take a break and do some of your creative writing...about life today, yesterday or possibly tomorrow.”

I have been meaning to get back in the saddle and write some more, and soccer season ends today, so it was just the boost I needed to sit down and write.

My excuses are many:
  • Life
  • Soccer
  • Scouts
  • Messy house
  • Too tired
  • Dancing with the Stars
  • Too in my own head and can’t get out. It’s been feeling a little like the trash compactor in Star Wars. (sad, because writing helps me get out of my head the most, but I’ve been using other less effective and more self destructive escape tactics)
  • Blogger changed their format and I have issues with change and was having problems navigating the new pages.
  • I’ve been letting Huey have the computer so that he can finish his homework and be all caught up and finish sixth grade with a bang.
  • Huey changed the settings on my laptop and now the mouse is an external mouse not the touch pad and it bugs me so I haven’t been using my laptop.
  • When I write, I tend to write and write and write and write and write. The only time I have to write uninterrupted is after the boys are in bed and that causes me to stay up way past my bedtime which is very unhealthy for me.
  • I’ve been ensconced in the words of others. –meaning, I’ve been going through a reading phase where I borrow a pile of books from the library and read and read and read so that I can return them quickly so that someone else has a chance to read them and I’m not hogging. This distracts me as I am living in their world and not my own, so my inspiration level goes down as I get inspired my me the most.
  • The journal I was carrying around with me and writing my inspirations in got filled up and now I’m carrying a new journal. My old inspirations inspire me and I can’t remember them and so I can’t feed off my old inspirations. (Make sense? Probably not – my head is a weird place)
  • Not taking the time for me or making myself a priority which depresses me, which causes me to get inside my own head, which causes me to feel uninspired, which causes me to not write and down down down the rabbit hole I go.
  • Not very many people read my blog, so I don’t feel a responsibility to keep it up as I make myself the lowest priority. I should be doing this just for me because it is the best for me and I really love it, but since no one else cares, I just let it go, but I should do it for myself, but I definitely don’t care about myself the most.

After I got the email from my mother-in-law, I logged on to Blogger to read my reading list ignoring my own posts, which I have been doing for awhile. Her nagging little voice was in the back of my head so I decided to look at some of my own posts when I discovered that I had a draft saved. I decided to finish up the post and publish it. The process felt so good that I decided to write this too. Now I feel even better.

I am likening my MIL to C3PO hearing my cries for help from the trash compactor and telling R2-D2 to deactivate all the trash compactors.

Thanks for the inspiration, D! (look at that, I gave you a blog nickname)

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