Girl Crush

You know how couples have that list of famous people that they can totally have a hall pass for? Well that is so Nineties. I have a list of girls I would switch teams for. Admit it, you have one too….

Joan Jett – What a rock star. I don’t give a damn about your bad reputation either.

Charlize Theron – Who wouldn’t? Have you seen Young Adult? Or Cider House Rules? Or Snow White and the Huntsman? She can totally rock a short haircut and I loved seeing her waltz with Channing Tatum on the Oscars. That was awesome.

Jennifer Lawrence – Your voice totally does it for me. And your crazy eyes. You killed it in The Hunger Games, girl. You had me at “I volunteer! I volunteer.” The way your voice cracked at the end there? Awesome. Your performance in Silver Linings Playbook was the best. You absolutely deserved that Oscar. Sorry you tripped, I wish I could have been there for you to catch your fall.

Gwen Stefani – O my gosh, I would never make you my ex-girlfriend, plus, we could share clothes and red lipstick and be total twins.

Gweneth Paltrow - I don't care what everyone says about you, your childrens' names, GOOP, or your idea of an "affordable" spring wardrobe, I will always love you.

Weekly Check-In

Physically - Not great. Cramps. Neckache from so much reading. No yoga. Weight is stable though and I've been off caffeine, so my tiredness has stablized.

Emotionally - Normal. Still processing some things, but I've been able to breathe through some things that cause me anxiety instead of flipping out and they have worked out for the positive.

Spiritually - Broken down. That's all I have to say about that.

Goal - Last week's goal was another fail. I am so frustrated. I don't know what to set as a goal, so my goal is to not set a goal this week.

Lost in the Library

photo credit www.eileenmosca.com

This is the story of the first time I went to the library.

I have mentioned my best friend who I never see, Berit, before when I told you about my getting my ears pierced adventure. We've been best friends since we were two and I love her like a sister and will never stop loving her.

A long, long, time ago, okay fifteen years ago, Berit and I were roommates. Berit worked at the Vancouver Public Library and I was a landscaper. One day, Berit freaked out when she found out that I had never stepped foot inside a public library. “I cannot believe that you are my best friend and I have worked for the library all this time and we have this BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW library and you have never been in it!”

I love books, I love to read. I used to practically LIVE in my school library – I was even in an advanced spelling class (I’ll explain later) that was in the library at school. I used to go to the library in the summer. Unfortunately, once I discovered boys, the library got abandoned along with my good grades.

Anyway, the landscaping job didn’t work out and I was between jobs for a short while, so Berit and I set a lunch date and she would show me around the library. It’s a beautiful building, it looks like the Colosseum, and it’s set in this little dip in the land, so you don’t see it until you’re right on it – and it’s magnificent! I knew this, but I had never experienced it first hand. After our lunch and my tour, Berit went back to work and I went exploring in the library. I got lost in the Science Fiction section reading H.G. Wells’ The Invisible Man and lost track of time. They had to kick me out of the library that I had never set foot inside of until that day because they were closing. I got home well after dark. When I walked into our apartment, Berit practically pounced on me, asking, “Where WERE you?!” My mum had called, and my sister, all looking for me and Berit had no clue where I was and it wasn’t like me to just disappear. I exclaimed in exasperation, “I was at the LIBRARY!!”

It was so funny for someone who didn’t have a library card and hadn’t stepped inside a library in over five years and never inside a public one to have spent the ENTIRE day there. This was the first step in my love affair with the library.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to the woman who gave me life. You can read more about her here.

Check-In

Physically - I can say 'fine', but I can't say good, right? I'm okay. I've been really really tired this week due to not sleeping, and adjusting to going off of Dr. Pepper. I feel like I will be sleeping normally soon, so I should be able to function like a normal person in a few days. No headaches, but neckaches. No yoga either.

Emotionally - Better. DH and I had a big long talk about some things and now I am processing a whole bunch of new information and working on trust issues. I am also trying to have faith in those that I love and trying to not be so controlling. It will be freeing, but it's still a process.

Spiritually - Okay. I could be doing better and I need to be doing better. I am going to try to focus on reading my scriptures, having real prayers, and going to the temple.

Goal - To take the names to the temple.

I Feel Like I Should Still be Sleeping

Dewey has this wonderful way of saying exactly what I’m feeling, it’s amazing. This is what he moaned when I woke him up last Monday morning after the time change and it was still dark outside. Me too, baby, meeee tooooo. I was just getting used to using my sunglasses in the morning, and we had to go and spring forward.

I have this love-hate relationship with the time change. I love how it’s kind of a sign that Spring is coming, and that it stays light longer, but I hate losing an hour. I also feel off, like I don’t know what time of day it is and I can’t wake up or go to sleep properly. I get it from my mother. Here’s a typical scene at our house when I was growing up:

One of us: Mum, what’s for dinner?

Mum: Dinner? What time is it? Seven o’clock? UGH! I HATE the time change!! Guess it’s sandwiches for dinner!

I used to laugh at her so much. Why doesn’t she just look at the clock? Well, I can’t tell you how many times I have said the very same thing.

I posted this on Facebook on Tuesday:

I don’t even know what time it is anymore!

My sister, Mrs. Bowie commented with a link to this song. Isn’t she funny? I thought it was awesome.

The other thing Dewey said to me was “Why do we even have to have the time change?” To be honest, I can’t even remember; something to do with saving daylight and the farmers? I’m too tired to even Google it. DH just got adjusted to his new sleep schedule and now all he did last week was sleep. Now we all have to get adjusted again.

The only thing that has made it better is that I’ve been putting myself on a schedule that goes by the clock, not the sun which has really helped me not get too caught off guard.

Oh well, we’ll change back in six months and I’ll feel normal again.

Currently - March

Loving - My boys, my Man, my dog, the fact that I can see my grass in the front yard, that I'm not wearing pantyhose to work, my turquoise toes, shaved legs, and wearing flip flops to Costco.

Reading - Nothing. Taking a break. I read a lot of good books this last month and it was starting to take away from my life - I was escaping. I have decided to take a break to read my scriptures more regularly and to write.

Watching - Nothing. Only have one more episode of Downton to go, but Huey and I are watching it together so I have to wait until he's finished with his English assignment and until we're in the same room at the same time for more than five minutes. DH is dying because he wants to discuss it with me but I refuse to have any spoilers.

Anticipating - Oahu!! I'm going with my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew. I'm actually looking forward to the 5 hour flight all to myself. I love to travel by myself! I'm also looking forward to getting to know my cute niece and nephew both of whom I've only met once. Plus, you know, HAWAII!!

Listening - Siouxie and the Banshees. Especially The Passenger. I love, love, love me some Siouxie Sioux!!

Planning - My trip to Hawaii, home improvement projects for Spring/Summer, the end of the school year.

Working on - Relaxing my anxieties, getting things in the house organized, being consistent.

Check-In

Physically – Normal. No headaches, back and neck don’t hurt too badly. Sleeping okay and have enough energy to cook, clean and run the boys around. All tests from the doctor are either normal or of no concern. Weight is under control. Keep missing Yoga. Need to get back on that horse! Need to get off Dr. Pepper and fast food. Spring is coming, I can smell it, so it can happen. Can’t ask for much more that that!

Emotionally – Unbalanced but hopeful. Now that my physical health is taken care of, it’s time to take care of the emotional/mental. I need to BREATHE! Watch this space for more info coming soon…

Spiritually – A little rocked because of the emotional stuff, but not too. A little disheartened because of the lack of temple, but I can fix it. DH gave me a blessing on Tuesday and it was so so helpful. I love that guy. So. Much.

Goal – I keep failing, but the goal is the temple. Come heck or high water!! I did talk to my friend who has a daughter Huey’s age and arranged for them to do baptisms together, but I haven’t scheduled with the temple yet – but I will!