My main goal this year has been to get back to the gym. It used to be my home away from home, my sanctuary. I’ve been twice this year and both times I went have been the greatest thing ever. I want to run away and live at the gym.
I have never participated in the classes at my gym. I’ve always been too chicken to join in. It seems like all the cool girls go to classes with their friends and seeing that I am neither cool nor have any friends, I’m afraid that I would be a sore thumb. Or a square peg. (Fun Fact, did you know that The Waitresses sang the theme to Square Pegs?)
Yoga is a pretty solitary thing, though, so attending alone is not nearly as intimidating as attending a Zumba class by myself. Also, I discovered the last time that they have the lights out during yoga which makes it even less intimidating.
Last Saturday as I was stumbling around and trying to organize my day in my head, DH said to me, “Don’t you have a gym thing to go to some time this morning?” I had been debating whether or not to go and was going to sluff, but having DH remind me gave me just enough encouragement to go. I love him so much for that.
So I made it to yoga. Checking in at the gym was just like last time; hard to find a spot to park, anxiety about being on time, and feeling like coming home when beeping in with my pass at the desk. When I walked into the classroom at straight-up ten o’clock, the class before was still clearing out, so I could relax as I wasn't late. I found a spot near the back away from everyone else and waited, attempting to calm my mind, in Lotus pose for the class to begin.
It has been about two years since the last time I attempted yoga. It’s my favourite. I really love yoga. It’s challenging, and calming, and I can get my sweat on. It’s peaceful and there’s such a sense of support in the room. It helps me to focus. I’ve noticed that I’m really sensitive to the vibes that other people give off, and the vibe in the room during a yoga practice is always very positive. I love that.
I’ve been feeling very harried lately; like there’s so much to do, no time to do it, and zero down time. I am desperately in need of down time. I’ve been feeling close to snapping lately for no reason at all and it’s because I haven’t been able to turn things off. It was so wonderful to get connected to my breath and try to get all this toxicity I’ve been feeling expressed out of my body. I am terribly out of shape and need to practice a lot more in order to get back to proper form, but it sure felt good to get started on the path.